I Hope Your Heart Runs Empty
by dustytiger
Summary: After their breakup Keates ends up at DiNozzo's with big news- baby news. A DiNozzo/Keates stand alone. Enjoy, be kind!


Title: I Hope Your Heart Runs Empty  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
Rating: T (like the show to be safe)  
Disclaimer: Yup, I'm still poor, and yup I still don't own NCIS, it belongs to its creator, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life for us (and it's fun to play with them.)  
Summary: After their breakup Keates ends up at DiNozzo's with big news- baby news.  
Notes: I'm not really sure where the idea came from, but my muse ran with it and this is what I came up with. I like it as a stand alone and if you know me I don't like to do sequels. The title comes from a haunting yet hopeful song by Neverending White Lights. On with the fic! Enjoy!

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Zoe Keates was exhausted but her heart fluttered when she heard her daughter's first cries of life. The nurse placed the baby on her chest, and she just stared at the newborn amazed. She still couldn't believe it. She had never thought that her life would go the way it had in the past few months. She was nervously excited about becoming a mother and was thrilled she wasn't going it alone. She looked over at him never expecting to see the look that had washed over his face as he stared at the baby girl.

The couple locked eyes for a moment, before they turned their attention back to the baby. The nurses then took her to clean her up, weigh and measure her as well as to run a few tests. The nurse came back in and the infant was swaddled in a pink blanket with a tiny pink hat on her head.

"You have a very healthy baby girl, everything is fine and she's six pounds three ounces and seventeen inches long. Can daddy hold her this time?" the nurse asked Keates, who nodded in agreement, wanting to see how he reacted.

The nurse carefully put the newborn into his arms. It was clear he hadn't done this often but he was trying. He wanted to be a good father. A smiled began to spread across his face as he began to relax. The newborn yawned the squeaked softly. He couldn't believe she was finally there, and how much she looked like her mother. It felt somehow right having her in his arms. Whenever he'd held a baby before he'd felt awkward but this was different; likely because she was his. He wanted nothing more than to be a good father and keep her safe from everything the world could throw at her.

He stared at the baby in his arms. "I'm your daddy," he marvelled, before his mind began to drift back to that night a few months ago when he found out that everything in his world was going to change.

Anthony DiNozzo was winding down for the evening after a long case. He took a whisky rock and dropped into the bottom of his Glencairin glass before pouring some Crown Royal into it. He barely got the glass to his lips when his phone began to buzz, indicating someone was looking to be let up to see him. He wasn't expecting someone and when he picked up the call he was surprised to hear the voice of who was asking to be let in.

He hadn't seen her in nearly three months and wasn't sure why she had shown up on his doorstep out of the blue. She knocked softly on the door, and he let her inside. They smiled at each other, and he felt the same attraction they had every time they were together. There was something that always drew him toward her and he didn't think that would ever change. He wanted to pull her into his arms then to the bedroom, but he couldn't forget the past few months without her. Being honest to himself he still wasn't over her.

"Do you want a drink?" he offered.

"No, thank you," she assured him.

"Do mind if I have another?"

"Go ahead."

He poured himself another drink, swirling it in the glass before taking a long sip. "Zoe, why are you here?" he asked ushering her to sit down on the couch.

She shook her head, not wanting to get comfortable. "Tony- I'm pregnant."

He nearly dropped the glass he was holding. "I, uh," he stammered unsure what to say.

"I don't want to force you to do something you don't want, but I do need to tell you that I plan on keeping it."

"Zoe, I don't know what to say."

"I didn't want to wait to tell you. I only found out today," she explained, sitting down knowing that she was not going to be leaving any time soon. "Tony you have to understand I never planned this but I couldn't be the woman who kept this a secret until he or she started to ask questions. I'm not asking anything of you but you deserve to know the truth."

"I don't want to be a deadbeat. I always promised myself that I would be a part of my child's life but I thought when it happened I'd be married to the woman."

"That's not why I came to you and it's not what I want."

"I know," he assured her, remembering that wanting a future with her was one of the reasons they had broken up. "I don't know what you want from me. You can support this child yourself. You don't want me in your life you've made that very clear, so what am I supposed to do, let you walk out of here and forget that you're carrying our baby?"

"Do you even want to be in its life?"

"Of course I do!" he snapped. "I can't believe you'd ask me that! I never wanted to become my father! You know that!"

"Don't yell at me!"

"Zoe what the hell else am I supposed to do here?" he slammed his glass down on the table next to her. "The last time I saw you you practically laughed when I told you I had my mom's ring sized for you! Now you waltz back into my life and tell me you're pregnant and expect to walk out of here like you just told me you had the flu! I want to be a part of your life, and I certainly want to be in this baby's life, but how can I do that when you don't want that too!?"

"Lots of people who don't have a relationship can co-parent, so why don't you take it down a notch."

"I don't _want_ to co-parent! I don't want to see my kid every other weekend, and for two weeks in the summer! I want to be there to support it through everything. I want to see it take its first steps. I want to hear it call you mama and me dada. I want to wave to it when it goes to school for the first. Hell I want to read it bedtime stories, and be there when it skins its knee. I never wanted to be a part time father if it happened, and now you're telling me that's all I can have!"

"Tony… I," she stammered, tears in her eyes. "I don't know what we're supposed to do here. I never planned this. I guess I never thought that you'd want to be involved with the baby."

He wanted to pull her into his arms, and stop her from getting upset, but he knew that he couldn't. He wanted to start talking about where they were going to live, and how to set up the baby's room. All he wanted was to do all the things a father does when the woman he love tell him she's pregnant, but none of those things were options at that moment. They were just two people who had made a baby together and now had to find out what should be the next step.

"The worst part about all this," he growled. "Is that I still love you."

The opened the floodgates, and tears started to fall down her cheeks. A part of her wanted him to comfort her, but she had no right to expect that. Between the pregnancy hormones and seeing him again she could hardly keep her emotions in check. She wasn't sure what she had expected to happen but it certainly wasn't this. Now she regretted never having taken the time to ask him if he wanted children before it was pressing reality. She had always assumed that since he avoided children as much as possible he didn't want any. It was clear that nothing could be farther from the truth.

"I guess we can – try, for the baby?" she suggested after what felt like hours of silence when she had stopped crying.

"Zoe if I force you back into my life you'll only resent me," he told her. "I still haven't gotten over you, I don't think I can."

"Sp- Tony I wouldn't have said it if that's not what I wanted. I'm still scared by how real this is and how much more real it's become since I saw the test results. I told you because I can't be the reason this child grows up without two loving parents. I do love you, I always have, but I've also always run when things started getting serious which I know isn't fair to you. I've thought since I left that morning about coming back and this forced my hand. I want to try to do this for the baby."

"I don't want the baby to grow up thinking-"

She put her fingers on his lips to shush him. "I don't want that either. What if this is what was supposed to happen to make me see what I had in front me? What if we make it work, not just because of this baby but because we want it to?"

"I can't forget what happened."

"I'm not asking you to forget, but I would like to move forward."

"It's not that easy."

She ran her fingers along his cheeks, and for a moment he relaxed, moving in closer to her. He had missed her in the past few months. There was something he found intoxicating about her which always drew him back. He put his hands on her hip and for a moment got lost in her.

"I know it won't be easy, I do. There's something here we can't deny," she told him.

He nodded, despite himself. "We can't just go back to how things were before."

"I know. I should head home before we do something we'll both regret. I have an appointment tomorrow at four. I'd like you to be there, my doctor wants me to have an ultrasound, and she said I could hear the baby's heartbeat."

"All right, sure. I want to be a part of this."

"Good I want that too. This time we'll go slower."

He nodded and kissed her cheek softly. She wrote down the address he'd need, as well as the time and the name of the doctor she was seeing. She knew that this was only the first small step, but she hoped that by letting him in they could find a way to heal somehow. She knew she had caused him a lot of pain, and she regretted that every day since he had left the apartment last. She wasn't someone who relied on religion or even spirituality but a part of her had to wonder if there might be a reason she had become pregnant after dating him a year likely on the night they had broken up.

He was brought back to the moment when the baby made a small sound. He looked at her, expecting her to start crying but she didn't. He wasn't sure if she was awake or not since she still hadn't opened her eyes. He couldn't believe he had fallen in love with her so quickly. Everyone had told him that things would change once he saw her, but he hadn't expected this. He knew he wanted to protect her from everything in that could cause her pain.

"If you ever bring home a guy like me, I'll shoot him," he whispered, then looked up at Keates, who was holding back tears. "Zoe, she's perfect."

"Spider," she whispered, not believing how tender he was being with the newborn.

"Do you want to hold her again?" he asked, seeing the look on her face.

"Thank you, but no. I just- I guess I never believed you'd be that kind of father, that's all."

"I don't understand."

"Seeing you with her, the way you look at her like she's an angel sent from heaven. The way you're talking to her, everything, it's amazing. She's already got you wrapped around her little finger and you couldn't be happier. I wanted that for her and now she has it. I'm tired and my emotions are everywhere but seeing you with her it's reassuring, proving we're making the right choice."

"I think I understand. I guess we still need to find a name for her."

They had been talking about names since the moment they found out she was a girl. Keates still remembered how surprised she was when he had come to that first appointment all those months ago. As much as she wanted to see him get involved she hadn't been sure he would. The exam was routine, until the doctor hooked up the heart monitor. The two of them looked at each other in amazement; it made things so much more real.

"Good news, there's only one in there," the doctor told her. "We don't normally do ultrasounds so early, but I'd like to try, so we can better date the pregnancy. You might get lucky and you'll find out what you're having, but don't get your hopes up."

"All right, thank you," Keates replied.

The doctor lifted her shirt, and put the wand on her belly. She wasn't showing yet, but she knew it would only be a matter of time. Without even thinking she reached for DiNozzo's hand, which he took. The two of them stared at the monitor, trying to figure out what they were seeing on the screen. To anyone who might be watching them, they would think they were a typical couple learning about their baby.

"Things are looking very good here, the baby looks healthy. I think your date was right and you're about fifteen weeks along. It's a good time to find out, and we'll get you on prenatal care right away. Let's see if we can get- there we go. I can tell you what you're having if you want to know."

"Yes!" they both said at the same making them both hyper aware of everything going on around them.

"Congratulations, it's a girl."

"A girl," Keates sighed. "I kept wanting to say she since I took the test, but I didn't want to jinx it."

She still remembered how happy she was to learn that she was going to have a baby girl. She had mostly had female cousins growing up, and she used to taking care of them. She also knew that most girls had special bonds with their fathers, and she wanted to see it grow between DiNozzo and their daughter. He even seemed happy that they were going to have a daughter too, and she could only hope that they would find a way to make things work more than just for the sake of the baby.

Keates was brought back to the moment when she heard a small cry. She looked up at DiNozzo who holding their daughtesr. He was rocking her gently but that wasn't what she needed. She knew that he hadn't yet had the chance to feed and burp a newborn. They had watched Victoria for a weekend so that he could learn how to change diapers and get used to the idea of having a baby around; although the real test would be once they got their own daughter home.

"I bet she's hungry," Keates reasoned, then buzzed for the nurse.

DiNozzo gave the baby to Keates, who soothed her until the nurse came with a bottle. She only had so much time off from work, so it made more sense to bottle feed the newborn. She put the bottled in the baby's mouth, and she started to drink. DiNozzo just watched them, hoping that he would be able to help soon. He was still terrified he might break her somehow, but every moment he spent with her he felt a little more confident.

"Slow down angel," Zoe whispered, touching her cheek softly to slow her down. "I promise there's enough for you and you don't want a sore tummy do you?"

"We could just call her angel," DiNozzo reasoned.

"I went to school with an Angel, and she was far from it, besides that's a special nickname for her that we get to call her."

"All right, there is a name that's been in the back of my head. What do you think about Aurora?"

"Like the princess?" Keates asked surprised.

"I was thinking more like the northern lights. My mom told me if I had had a sister she'd name her Aurora so they could go to Alaska together on her eighteenth birthday."

She moved the baby so that she could burp her, patting her on the back. He never talked about his mother much and she thought it was sweet that he remembered that. She also wondered if they could make the trip happen as a family at some point. She liked the name and was sure their friends and family would like it too.

"Spider," she whispered, looking at the baby in her arms.

"It's stupid, I shouldn't have said anything," he stammered.

"No it isn't, I think it's sweet. You'll have to tell a lot of people about that when they ask you why we named her after sleeping beauty though. What do you think little one? Aurora Elisabeth DiNozzo." The baby yawned. "I bet you're tired of hearing names too but this one is perfect. Sweet dreams," she whispered, sure the baby was falling asleep again.

DiNozzo smiled, happy they had finally agreed on a name. He also thought they were going to hyphenate their names. They had agreed early on that he middle name should be Elisabeth after both her grandmothers. A lot of the names they had suggested throughout the pregnancy had been those of DiNozzo's exes or names of people they worked with either as partners or as victims and even perpetrators. They didn't want their daughter to have a name with a history.

The couple cherished these moments with their newborn daughter, as much as they wanted their work families to meet her there something comforting about getting to know her alone. DiNozzo leaned in and kissed Keates' lips softly. It hadn't been easy to re-establish their relationship through her pregnancy, but they both knew if they had been able to stay together through that they could weather any storm together.

The End

Notes: This is a stand alone, I have a few multi-chapter fics already started and I didn't want to add it to the pile. I hope that the fashback parts work for everyone. Let me know what you think. Thank you in advance for any support on this. Hearts and hugs – Trista.


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